How can you deal with adversity?
In this episode, we feature a recording of John’s inspiring Rotary talk, “Sweetheart, It’s Just Your Leg, Not Your Life.”
John tells his incredible story of overcoming adversity after his amputation and shares his wisdom on:
How to plan for unplanned life events
Building support groups
Creating an unbeatable mindset to get through anything
And more
Mentioned in this episode:
Transcript
John Curry: Good morning, folks. Last time that I was the speaker other than inspiration was September 21, 2021. If you recall, I was in a wheelchair up front. And two days later, I got this prosthesis, the very one that I'm wearing. And it was a life changer. The title of my talk today is, "Sweetheart It's Just Your Leg, Not Your Life."
I'm going to share with you what has happened along the way. I'm gonna share with you some things that I know beyond a shadow of a doubt. There's some things you think, some things you hope. I know some of what I cover today will help you big time in dealing with adversity, dealing with the BS that you have to deal with every day. Because I've had the pleasure of giving a presentation similar to this to a lot of people. For a long time I withdrew. I told you this before. I withdrew, didn't go to Rotary, didn't go to the Tallahassee 100 Club. I didn't go to anything.
For a while I couldn't. I just couldn't, it was just too much work to get out. It was difficult to get out of bed and get in the wheelchair and go somewhere. But I realized that I could help people and I could be helped by being around others. The relationships we have are so important, extremely important. And what I wanted to share a few things with you, I jotted down some notes to make sure I don't forget something.
I had the pleasure of being a closing speaker for 45 minutes at a conference on Saturday in Jacksonville. I had two key points I wanted to make. I got those done, I thought of another one and I didn't have it written down. So I didn't share it. So I'm gonna talk about three things. Three key points. Unplanned life events, how to plan for them. Sounds weird doesn't it? How do you plan for the unplanned? We'll talk about that in a moment. Support groups. This is a support group. Any organization you're in, whether it be your church, whether it be a Rotary Club, whether it be business groups, that can be a support group, if you choose to let it be. But you have to do your part.
You've heard the expression, you will get out of something, what you put into it. It's very true. And the third point I want to make is how to prepare for future events and create an unbeatable mindset that I will find a way. If I don't win, at least I can get through it. And I've got a new adventure that I'm starting that I'm going to share with you when we get to that part.
So let's talk about unplanned life events. When I was told that they had to amputate my leg, it was real simple. The poison was coming up my right leg and they said if it gets to your kidneys, you will die. And you will die instantly, we have to amputate. And I said, when? They said as quickly as we can get an operating room. So the first step is to collect the facts. Well, I got those facts. I didn't like those facts. So you don't have to like what you find. You don't even have to like it, but you do have to accept it.
You might get angry. For some reason I didn't. I don't understand that. But somehow over the years, my mindset and my personality has been well, okay. Robert, we got a problem. How do we deal with it? How do we fix it? And that served me very well during this. So in my case, the facts were you either give up a leg or you give up your life. That was a relatively easy decision. People say how'd you make that decision so quick? Hell, it's real simple. I wanted to live. You would have done the same thing. Same thing.
So next are what are your options? So once they explained to me what they were going to do, I would have preferred it to be below the knee instead of above the knee. Much more flexibility that way. But I didn't have that choice. So that option was not available. They said it's not available. But when something happens, that is unplanned and is not good, what are your options? There are really two options, okay.
You can melt down, get negative, screw yourself into the ground like a corkscrew. Or you can grieve for a few minutes or a few days, whatever it takes to say, well, shit, this is not good. But I'm not going to let it defeat me. I chose the latter with anything that I've got to deal with. I don't want to sit there. And you've heard me say this at one of the inspirations, sell BMWs. BMW stands for bitching, moaning and whining. Just don't do that. Just okay, I got a problem. Get it out of the way for a moment or two then go on. So that helped me a lot.
And I had just helped a friend who was going through a real tough time. He was very angry, very bitter, and just having a conversation around what I just shared with you. After just a few minutes, probably 10 minutes. He said you know what? I'm making it worse aren't I? Yes, you are. For yourself, your wife, your children. You know, you can't change this, there's nothing going to change the situation you're in. Your attitude can change. But the situation is not changing. And I was pleased I could help him through that. A lot of people helped me through this journey.
I still have in my office on a pedestal by itself, a heart shaped pillow that many of you in this room signed, back in 2008, when I had my triple bypass surgery. I keep it there, I see it every day that I'm in that office. It reminds me of two things. One, that any of us could be at a position where our heart stops immediately. Number two, it reminds me that you should have a big heart and do as much as you can to help as many people as you can, whatever way that is. In my case it is writing books, doing podcasts, webinars, seminars, individual consultations, whatever I can do to help.
And a friend told me one time, you've got to get what's in your head out, so people can use it. And I've published three books, and it's amazing the feedback that I get from people who want help or tell me they got help from that. So there's a lot of ways you can help people and be helped. Okay, you get your options. Now you got to create a plan. What's the plan of action? So even before the amputation occurred, we were working on okay, what do you want me to expect and have to do when we get out?
First you're going to have to accept the fact you're going to be on your back for about 12 days in the hospital. And it was 12 days. And it was good people around me, good doctors, technicians, nurses, everybody was great. But I'm not somebody who sits around even home watching television a whole lot. So imagine me being on my back for 12 days, plus physical therapy, etc. I had to accept that. I had to work on it. I got a lot done, though. I read a lot of books. That 12 days, when I was awake, I would read. Didn't watch any television. I don't think I watched even a minute of TV those 12 days. I did later in rehab.
And then take action. So you got your options. You've got your plan, you got to take action. So as soon as they were done with me at TMH, I went right over to TMH rehab, they drove me right over. And I started working on the physical therapy two times a day, every day. And I was there two weeks. And they allowed me to go in. A machine called NuStep. It's basically an elliptical machine that's a recumbent. That's all I could really do. But I want to share something with you that happened. That was really, it really hurt the ego.
You know, back in 2011, I weighed 284 pounds, and I made a decision that I was going to get fit. Remember that Jan? So I got busy, hired a trainer three days a week. At 6am I was lifting weights. So that means I had to be in there 5:45 because His attitude was you're not warming up on my time you get your butt in here and you get ready. And if you're paying someone to coach you, you go do it. Right. So that's what I did.
So I got really fit. And in fact, the way we found the aneurysms in my two legs in 2019, which led to this amputation, the aneurysms did. I was leg pressing 620 pounds. And my trainer I was doing it with. I did one rep he goes wow, he says how many can you do? I said I don't know, let's see. I did ten. He said that's unbelievable. He's said I can't believe you have that much strength. So fast forward to this first session of physical therapy. They hand me two and a half pound dumbbells. And I said, this is a quote I said what the hell am I supposed to do with something that light? And the therapist started laughing. She said, you'll see.
She said I want you to do 20 repetitions. I thought my arms were going to fall off my shoulders. I did not realize how much strength you lose just lying on your back in a hospital. And I lost a lot. I mean a lot of muscle mass, it took me a long time to start getting the muscle back, and I still go to physical therapy two days a week. And also at least two days a week I'm doing some type of either weightlifting, or most of what I do now is carry a 53 pound kettlebell in each hand and walk 100 feet, put it down, rest and then go back. I do that four times.
So that's how much I've gotten stronger. And I can do that without using the cane. So that's what the progress has been. Okay. So let's go to the next point. First was, how do you plan for unplanned events? What do you do when they are presented to you? Next are support groups. So I'm gonna tell you about my support group. At first, I want to use an acronym. The word TEAM. Team stands for me, time, energy, attitude and mission. Number one is really mission. If you don't have a mission or a purpose or something to do in life, do you really need time? Do you? If you have something to do does it matter how much time you have? You have all the time in the world, but if you're just go sit around doing nothing, what good is it?
So let's think about your time. How do you use your time, your energy? What's your attitude, and what is your mission? And when you have and all of you've had, everybody in this room has had something happen. Negative. You've had an unplanned event, either for you or someone else that impacted you. Don and I have talked many times about the fact that his father was an amputee, and just listening to him share some of the things he has experienced himself helped me. And that's important, very important.
The most important are two ladies in my life that are very important to me. On the personal side, that's Susan Mozolic, we've been dating for three and a half years, we have a great relationship. It's getting stronger and stronger. And she stuck by me through this whole ordeal. She could have said, I'm done. We'd only been dating about a year when this happened. Her husband died five years ago. December it will be five years died of cancer. And I was fearful for her having to be a caregiver. And she even said at one point, I really don't want to be a caregiver again. Thankfully, she didn't have to, I was able to take care of myself. But she was there for me if I needed that.
On the business side, a lady named April Schoen that I hired in April of 2014 to run my office, and four years ago, she became a licensed advisor in our own right. She should have done it many years ago, she just didn't want to do it. She ran the business while I was in the hospitals. I was in the hospitals a total of 59 days in 2021. So think about my world for a minute. We had COVID, everything locked down. I couldn't even have visitors in the hospital. And when I finally could, it was one person at a time. And Greg, if you came to see me and stayed 15 minutes, Bill couldn't come. No one could come. One visitor, if they stayed 15 minutes or all day, it didn't matter. Only one person a day. It was an interesting time.
I want to tell you about these two people. The relationships you have in your personal life, and in your business is important. And I would challenge you if you've not taken the time yet to think about a succession plan for your business, you need to. Because every business person will leave the business in one of three ways. You walk out, they roll you out in a wheelchair, or they carry you out because you're dead. Say that again?
Speaker: That's the drop program.
John Curry: The drop program. Yep, work until you drop. Yep, I've had the pleasure of helping a lot of business owners just sit down and get clarity on okay, where are you? What if you can't work? Well, I'm Superman. Well, you know want, dammit, I was too but I was out of work for a long time. But we didn't miss a beat. We actually thrived. It's because of April, taking over managing the team and doing well. So you got to surround yourself with people that you can trust, people you can rely on, and they can rely on you. And I'll give you a brief reminder of what I learned that I shared before.
By going to some training in San Diego, a guy named Mark Devine, a retired Navy Seal, put together a program called Unbeatable Mind. He has a book by the same title. I went to his three day boot camp, they call it and we had other retired Navy SEALs working with us. And a lot of it was working on the head. He graduated number one in his class with SEALs. He said he was not the strongest. He was not the toughest physically. But mentally he was and that's why he's number one. And if you listen to anyone who has been through any type of special operations training, every one of them will tell you, it's the mind first.
So it's more powerful. You can be fairly weak. But if you've got enough drive and I will not give up, you can get it done. And we're going to touch on that at the very end about something. So let's talk about relationships. For me, being in Rotary 31 years now. Something called the Tallahassee100 Club. Marzouk Shriners, I've been a member of that for, good Lord since 1976 I think it was. 75 or 76. Boy Scouts, because of my son and grandchildren made a big difference.
You learn things you would not know about otherwise. You learn from people that you would never have thought knew what they did. But it's a matter of learning to listen. Appreciate other people. I used to say I don't want to do any business with anyone I don't like. I changed that mindset a few years ago. I don't have to like you to work with. I have to respect you as a human being, respect what your opinions are, I don't have to agree with you. I don't have to like it. But I do believe that there has to be mutual respect.
If there's no respect there, then we're done. I don't care who the hell you are. We're done. Goodbye, adios. Let's find somebody else to talk to. If that sounds too harsh, I apologize. But we are living in a world where people are looking for an opportunity to be offended. And if you're looking for that, you can find 1000 of them a day. And my attitude is get over it.
I keep two little visuals in my office. They're toys. One is a rhinoceros. And one is a shark. And when people start whining and complaining, I point to the rhinoceros. I say we need to work on your skin. It’s got to get tough, like a rhino. You're too sensitive. Let's work on that. And it's fun to see how people react. Some people say wow, you're right, thank you. Others get really offended. Very few get offended, though. They think it's funny.
Okay, let's talk about a third point. Future Events, there will be future events in your life, some type of adversity, some type of hardship. So how do you prepare for it? I'm gonna tell you what I'm doing to prepare for future events. I'm working on my physical fitness. From the standpoint of functional fitness. I don't need to have big old giant biceps or run around bragging about it. I just need to be able that when I drop that cane or I need to pick something up, I can do it. I need the ability if I need to pick up something heavy, I can do it without waiting for someone else.
And that's why I'm doing the kettlebell. It's called a Farmer's Walk. You've probably heard that expression where you have something in both hands and walk. My physical therapist handed me 35 pounders one day, and I walked and it was too easy in his eyes. He said, what's the maximum you can carry? I said I don't know, let's try it. So that's how I got to the 53 pounds, by the way. The mental side. What are you allowing in your head?
When you watch television, what are you watching? You know, I have to be careful because I am a financial news and political junkie. So I could sit in front of a television from six o'clock to nine o'clock in the morning and watch Maria Bartiromo. Okay, and get educated and love it. I could stay in front of a television from nine to 12 and watch Varney and Company. Stuart Varney. I think he's great at what he does. But if I do all of that, I'm going to hear a lot of negatives about other people, too. I'll hear some good stuff. I'll hear negative. So how do I control what gets in my head? What do I read? Who are the people I associate with? These are all part of the mental game.
And then part of it too is how do you make yourself tougher mentally. That's where the physical comes in. If you're willing to push yourself a little bit more than normal, everyday, do a little bit more. You'll be shocked at what happens to your mindset. I recall the first time I got on something called the assault treadmill. There's no motor, you are the motor. The first time I hopped on that thing, I could only go one minute. And this was back in October. One minute.
I said okay. So the next day, let's see if I can do two minutes. So I kept working on it. I finally got to the point of where I could do 30 minutes on that damn thing. But that's work. And let's talk about beliefs and behaviors. What do you believe in? And what are your behaviors? Do you walk the talk? And I'm going to end by sharing something that CJ called me yesterday to make sure we're okay for today. When he called I was sitting at a surgeon's office. We found out that I have colon cancer. And on August 3, I'm going in the hospital for surgery.
And we know that there's some lesions on the liver. We don't know to what extent or how bad it is yet. Won't know until they do a biopsy while in there. But I'm having to prepare for yet another unplanned event. And I've made a commitment that I'm going to do everything I can to help other people with this presentation. If you have a group or know groups that are looking for a speaker, and they want a topic that's not political, that's helping do what we're doing today. I would be happy to go speak. I don't care if it's a boy scout group. I don't care who it is. I'll modify it for that group of people.
But I'm on a mission to help as many people as I can. I always kidded about I was gonna be like George Burns who lived to be 100. That ain't happening. We do know that big time. But whatever time I do have, I'm giving it 100%. And please keep me in your thoughts and prayers and hope everything goes well. That they go in there and they say, look, yep, you got this cancer but it can be fixed easily. And I'll be out for a few weeks, because I'll be recuperating. They tell me hospital seven days and then probably two or three weeks recuperating. But anyway, thank you for listening and it was a pleasure being with you once again.
Voiceover: If you would like additional information about our services, you can visit our website at curryschoenfinancial.com. Or you can call our office at 850-562-3000. Again, that number is 850-562-3000. This podcast is for informational purposes only. Guest speakers and their firms are not affiliated with or endorsed by Park Avenue Securities, Guardian or North Florida Financial, and opinions stated are their own. April and John are registered representatives and financial advisors of Park Avenue Securities, LLC. Address 3664 Coolidge Court, Tallahassee, Florida, zip code 32311. Phone number 850-562-9075. Securities, products, and advisory services offered through Park Avenue Securities Member FINRA and SIPC. April is a financial representative of the Guardian Life Insurance Company of America, New York, New York. Park Avenue Securities is a wholly owned subsidiary of Guardian. North Florida Financial is not an affiliate or subsidiary of Park Avenue Securities or Guardian.
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